Differences

This weekend was full of activity for me. Friday I went to a dinner party at Garner's and hung out with all the guys from his program. Most of them are from Turkey and the Caribbean, so of course I love hanging with them. Being around people from other countries is such an amazing learning experience. Its always interesting for me to hear about their country and how they view America. After the dinner party some of us went to a haunted house, Silo-X I think. It was really scary, but of course I'm a wimp so....
Saturday I slept most of the day because I stayed up way to late hanging with KLew. That girl never gets tired, its amazing. That afternoon I attended the Turkish festival at Wash. U. and hung out with some of the guys from Friday. I had a lot of fun. They are so nice! Later me and Lew met up with Hawkins, Fu (?) and some other guys to watch "Saw." I am not usually up for scary movies but I went none the less. Now I regret my hasty decision ;o) What a bad movie....scary and badly filmed. It was fun hanging with everybody though.

After the movie we hit Liz and Ashley's dress up party. I love dress up parties, they're the most fun! My head hit the bed pretty late Saturday night too but I am happy to say that I am awake and getting ready for Sunday school. Speaking of which, I'm running late. Later...

Monday 1:30AM ish:
I dragged myself into Sunday school at 9:00. Glad I did because we talked about different pathways that people take to grow close to God. I think there are seven in all: relational, contemplative,intellectual, serving, activistic, creation(treehuggers), and worship. This was very interesting and helped me see that not everyone has to start their morning in quiet time and prayer like I do. It is kind of silly, but I did kind of think that everyone would grow closer to God just by doing that, like its a magical formula. I guess it goes back to the old lesson of "Don't judge others by yourself"
I personally identified with the contemplative and intellectual pathways. Mostly contemplative. That is where you value and need alone time with God and time with yourself for reflection. There were other characteristics mentioned but thats the jest.
Last night everyone hung out at Jeff Miller's for a bit which was pretty fun. However, I was really tired and zoned out frequently throughout the evening.
I definitely need more down time. A perfect weekend to me right now would be locking myself inside and alternating prayer with finishing up a few books that I've been reading for way too long. Maybe it will rain! :o) That would be perfect.

Must sleep.......

Wait

"I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope." ~Psalm 130: 5
Wait...hmmm...this is what I feel like God is saying to me lately. To wait and to slow down. Even to read the words this morning makes me feel calm.
I have not been executing my plan of more alone time or of a bedtime around 11:00. Consequently i am not being consistent in my workout schedule or school. i am definitely a scheduled person. I love spontaneity just as much as the next person, but day to day I enjoy a certain consistency.
My friend that is in the military is very scheduled. Thinking back I'm surprised we didn't end up together considering that we grew up together, dated, and that we're so similar. God works in ways I can't understand.
My friend, Josh, is in Germany now and I desperately want to visit. I received an email from him this morning, which is always exciting for me. There is a comforting feeling that comes from talking to someone who really knows you. When I say knows you I mean they really know your heart, your dreams, your fears, and your annoying habits.
Anyway, he is doing well and has forgiven me for not calling on his birthday. He knows that if I had any memory at all I would have called because he is very important to me. Ah, the grace that comes from knowing.
God knows me, better than I know myself and he grants me grace. "O Lord, you have searched me and you know me." ~Psalm 139:1 Praise God!

How gracious am I to those that I know? I am shamed to say that I have a long way to go. This is true at least with my mother. I know her heart, her intentions, and I love her for who she is, but I don't know if I always portray that. They say that you hurt the ones you love and I believe that is true. It is sad but makes sense. You are yourself around them, they know the ugly parts of you and yet they won't forsake you. That is why it is so easy to choose not to exercise self-discipline around those people, even though they are the ones that deserve your best. Maybe this is why there are so many divorces. The fact that love is a choice and once you make that decision you get the bad with the good. Maybe people aren't prepared to be the one that receives the most joy and also the most pain. Thus a huge dilemma because, in my opinion, you cannot have one without the other. I think the most genuine feelings of love come from those who know they have been wrong or hurtful and realize that you loved and accepted them anyway. Ironic.
I can't remember who said it but it has stayed with me: The opposite of love is not hate, it is apathy.

I have also heard that to know someone is to love them. I think this is true in some respect but I would say that to know someone is to understand them and to understand someone is to love them. If only I had learned that lesson a long time ago before I was so foolish with my heart. You can love anyone if you understand why they are the way they are. It is so important to wait on the Lord!
"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the well spring of life." ~ Prv. 4:23
"A man's wisdom gives him patience..." ~Prv. 19:11

Sarah Groves is a phenomenal Christian Artist and one of her songs says: "Search me and know my heart oh God. See if there is any wrong thing in me. All I have ever really wanted are clean hands and a pure heart."
I keep thinking of this as I write.

okay..

As mentioned earlier, I overestimate people. It is a real problem. I do it with my family, friends, school, and even strangers sometimes. This causes real problems for me because you really can't depend on anyone but yourself and God. Many people tell me that I am wrong and I would like to agree, but that has been my experience thus far. Its funny taht I mentioned this earlier because I just experienced a prime example with a family member. They told me that they would take care of something (a rather important matter) and then they totally didn't do it and they lied about it. Whats up with that!? Now things are so much more messed up than they would have been if the person had just been straight with me from the beginning.
Why did I expect them to do what they said? I dunno, stupidity maybe, naivety, perhaps that I wanted so badly to believe them that I chose to knowing it probably wasn't true. Anyway.....in the big picture I realize that what happened is not as big a deal as how I handle it so I am about to go pray. I am so thankful that I have God to guide me. What would I be like without him......
Although I feel physically better, the day is leaving much to be desired. At least I have my toes.
God, help me be positive and thankful. Let me see your hand in this and help me find wisdom through the situation.

Sleep

I think that I underestimate the importance of sleep. Funny, since I am usually more likely to overestimate things/ people. Another subject I will come back to.
I slept 9 1/2 hours last night and I feel super today! The headache that I've had for the last few days and all the soreness in my shoulders is gone. All week I have thought I was getting sick but maybe I just needed some more rest.
I did miss going to the gym today, and not getting out of bed until 7:00 really makes me feel like I'm running behind BUT it was totally worth it. Not something I would like to do all the time but once a month or so I think would be good for me. Now I am thrown into one of the silly dilemmas that I will over think all day. Do I go to the gym tonight after class or go hang out at Mark's house for game night. Hmmm.....I hate it when I don't work out in the morning.
Well, I am really loving "Journey of Desire" and I can't wait to catch up to Katie. I tried to catch up last night, but reading in bed makes me tired so I only got through a few chapters. If I opt for the gym tonight then I will probably read more when I get home.

Well, I have plenty more to say but lack the time right now....maybe later.

Toes

I'm happy its raining. It is so easy to experience solitude when its raining. Most everyone is inside somewhere and there is a different kind of noise under the rain that I usually don't pay attention to.
I was the only person walking home from school on the pathway this afternoon and I experienced the most wonderful sense of calmness. Right now the pathway is lined with different colored trees, a series of lamp post, and tons of great stomping puddles. Listening to the rain fall through the trees made me feel like I was in a beautiful forest right next to a waterfall.
Half way home I stopped and thanked God for my toes.

This statement comes from my very close friend Tiffany. I was talking with her the other day and she made a point that really stuck with me. Tiffany said that when she feels sad she will use the moment to thank God for the things that we often times take for granted like ten toes. Having ten toes is very important for balance. She's great! I love how random she can be and also so right. She works in a hospital with children that need help with very basic skills like going to the restroom and eating. Being able to walk, talk, hear, and see are blessings that she is reminded of everyday. The statement about toes represents all these things to me and is currently the first thing that pops into my head when I think of sadness. A strange and wonderful relation that I hope will stay with me for a while.

I am thankful that I was able to walk home from school, see the beautiful colors, and hear the rain all around me. Also, I am thankful for good friends and good advice. I think its wonderful how some of the smallest moments make large impacts on our lives.
Well, I am about to go boycott school work and read some more from Journey of Desire.
Enjoy the rain.

Conviction

God answers prayer. I have been praying that God would reveal to me the sins that I don't notice so that I can repent and be more of what He wants me to be. He answered my prayer yesterday morning and I must say, like many times, it was not what I expected.
I was very convicted in Sunday school (DR) after J. Fox discussed how we are all horrible sinners and yet many times we go around thinking that we are stacking up pretty well. I am guilty of this.In fact, just the other night I was telling someone how I thought that two other people were not being very Godly. Like I have any room to talk...."who are you to judge your neighbor?" ~James 4:12
I am the worst. It is easy for me to get caught up in ways of this world and seek acceptance by worldly standards. To wear the right clothes, hang out with the "right" group, wahtever else it may be. All of it entails jealousy, envy, materialism, and vanity. It is not the way I want to be! It's not that I want to be of the world, it is just that I live in it and I have insecuritites. Insecuritites = weakness. There is no reason for either when I am depending on the Lord.
I never again want to attempt to judge someone else's actions when I clearly need to spend time concentrating on my own. I want to be strong in the Lord and live only for Him. The truth is that it doesn't matter what I wear or who I hang out with or even what I look like. All of these will fade away and what is left? I don't want my weaknesses to drive me to treating others a certain way. Games. I don't like mind games and I do not wish to be part of them. I want to treat others the way I know God treats me; to help them, encourage them, and lift them up no matter what their actions toward me are.
Forgive me Lord for my shortcomings.

I need to spend more time with God. Lew and I are starting a fitness program if you will. We are going to get our spiritual lives in better shape. Starting today we are reading a spiritual book together and have agreed not to like or think about dating anyone until the new year. Its not like this is a big problem for us at the moment but our theory is that if we take out all the time we spend thinking about boys or how we look etc.. then we will have that much more time for God. And the truth is that anyone worth being with will like us because of what they see inside.
More than ever before I find myself attracted to people's hearts and not their clothes or image or other meaningless things. This is wonderful but poses problems too. Things are much more serious at this level and their is less room for error. Also, it can be very intense and most people are not comfortable with this, myself included.
I am excited to not think about these things for a while and trust God to have his way in my life.

I pray that God will help me to always remember his strength and draw from it in situations where I feel inadequate. Let me experience his steadiness and security. I want him to take my heart and my mind and mold them. "Mercy triumphs over judgment." ~James 2:13 Praise God!

Title

I feel a little strange this morning. I haven't been sleeping much the past few weeks. I am going to have to return to my usual schedule of bed no later than 11:00PM. I am starting to do what I promised myself i wouldn't. I am getting too busy. i need to have more "me time." The people I've been hanging out with are really awesome, but I miss that time of self-reflection and just "being." Does this mean I'm old? I think I am starting to feel older; I just can't go as much as I used to. Perhaps this is due to how out of shape I am though. Which brings me to my body. I can see a definate change in my body this year and it is most depressing. Thats it! i have decided not to get any older. Wouldn't it be great if that worked?

Well, hopefully, as I am growing up I am gaining wisdom. There is certainly a difference in the 24 year old me and the 22 year old me. Its weird what a difference two years can make. I think a lot of our growth happens during breif but crucial time periods. I guess I would rather feel older and know the things I know now then stay 22 forever.
With every year comes new questions about my life. The things I think about this year are very different from last year. I am blaming most of it on pressure from societal norms, but it is also because of my relationship with God. The two are in constant opposition. The world, pushing depression about what I am running out of time to do and God, teaching me patience, tolerance, and faith. Thank God!

Well, off to church, but first breakfast with Katie Lew. I love Sundays! They are by far my favorite days!

Not Me

Not me but Him.
"I am weak but He is strong." That's part of a song that I used to sing when I was little, as I'm sure many did. I didn't realize what I was singing then, but now it really hits home for me. I am weak, but when I am weak God is strong and takes care of me. In fact, "That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak then I am strong." ~ 2Cor 12:10.

God commands us not to worry because He will take care of us. All we need to do is trust Him and have faith.
"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." 1Peter 5:7 "For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything." 1 John 3:20 "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow..." ~Mt 6:34

How wonderful! I feel great. It is nice to know that I have all I need in Jesus. There is an old Jars of Clay song that talks about falling in love with Jesus, and that is what I want to do. I pray that everyday I will fall in love with him and remember that he is all I need.

Anything good is him not me.

Sometimes

Trust in the Lord with all your heart... ~Prv. 3:5

I do this....sometimes. The rest of the time I try to make my own plans and of course one of two things happens. Either the plan fails or I get what I want and realize I had no idea what I need. "Trust in the Lord", it sounds easy but its not. I have this inner desire to take control and make things happen ( the curse of a Type A personality). Rushing things, forcing things, trying to logically deduce why "God wants this for me."
What a wonderful thought to just relax and let God work. Why don't I do it? All the time.
Being stressed all the time or planning things that don't work out is not portraying to the world the strength, joy, and assurance that the Lord provides.

Favorite Verse: "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind." ~ Rm. 12:2

Actually I guess I don't have a favorite verse, but that one has been extremely powerful for me over the last year.
I don't want anything that God doesn't want for me. Instead of petitioning for things that I have planned I need to pray that God removes my desires and fills me with His will for my life and patience to wait for that. I know that what God has planned for me is greater than all the things I could imagine for myself and I don't want to ruin that.
God, I pray that you will shield me from my impatience and desires that will not help me grow toward your goal. "I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus"
~ Php. 3:14

Today

Today might be difficult for me. I just woke up with this weird feeling. I have done my quiet time already but I don't feel like anything is sinking in. I wish I could stay home today, call in sick to school like I used to be able to.
I am about to go to the gym and I'm hoping that will get me going. Maybe I'm just really tired. I haven't been sleeping much lately. Today my alarm went off for an hour before I heard it and woke up, that never happens to me.

Reading back over this I can see my negativity. Shame on me. I decide right now that today will be a great day! I am awake, and alive, I have many blessings to be thankful for. I shouldn't let myself get into these funks.

Some days, like today, I just try to imagine God wrapping His arms around me and helping me all day. He does do that, but I try to get a visual I guess. God is so good to me. I love the Lord and am thankful for the ways He has worked and still works in my life. Without Him I am nothing.

Back

I am hopefully back in my routine after a week of slacking. I went to the gym this morning and it was great! It changes my whole day. I son't plan on missing anymore days but we'll see how I fare when it gets much colder. Cold weather just makes me want to stay in bed.


"Gaze into my eyes, and let me know you'd fight thousands for my love" ~Bethany Dillon
I can't get this verse out of my head. I have been thinking about it for almost two weeks now. It is frustrating because in a way it makes me wish I was dating someone. On the flip side, it reassures me that I don't want to date anyone unless they are really special and think the same about me. I am through with just dating to date. How silly a concept. Anyway, that is another subject that I could write about at length, but I lack time this morning.

I am behind in my school work. I need to be at the library right now. So, good day!

Rain

They say you can tell a lot about someone by watching how they react to lost luggage, traffic, and a rainy day. I always think about this when it rains. I don't know why, maybe to check my attitude.
When my alarm went off at 5:00AM it was raining pretty hard. My first thought was, man I don't want to get up and go to the gym in this. Next thought: I love to sleep in the rain, what a great day to curl up on the couch and read. I want an oversized reading chair in our sunroom just for days like today.
Well, I got up and am now ready to start my rainy day. I unfortunately, can't spend the day reading on the couch. I have to go to school and work on a paper. Olin Library has great rooms with huge windows though. so technically, I'll be reading and watching the rain. I'll just be reading journal articles and reasearch studies.
I'm happy that its raining, it is very calming.

My dad(Randy) bought me a television this past weekend and I brought it home last night. It was way too heavy for my roommate and I to move so some awesome guys from church dragged it up three flights of stairs. Roach(Jim) even drove across town to move it. How sweet! They are both a great testament to God and the way he wants us to be giving of ourselves and serve one another. Neither of them is even concerned with the favor being returned, but of course I will try to.

Last night at DR they played an awesome song ( I can't remember the title) but one of the verses is "Give us hearts of servants". How powerful! I love that song. I think that a heart of a servant is something that is hard to ask for in this world. Especially in the U.S., we are such an individualistic society. That is why it is even more powerful when you see people that really want to serve each other. I want a heart of a servant, to serve God and everyone else I meet.
I don't want to admitt it, but sometimes I am scared to pray for certain things like this. Humility is a good example. Not because I don't want them, but because I have so far to go that I'm afraid of what God will have to do to humble me. Godly discipline can be scary for me. Of course, I am drawing off previous experience with lessons that God tried to teach me for a long time. They were hard for me to learn, it was a more than bumpy road. In retrospect, I am thankful for each trial and the way it worked in my life. So, I ask for the discipline anyway and quickly follow with prayers about grace and mercy. I wish that I was more brave. I don't want to fear anything that God wants for me. I am so weak by nature. Thankfully God loves me and knows my shortcomings before I even confess them.
This is going to be an awesome day!
Psalm 118:24

Blessed

I spent this weekend with my three closest friends who are completely awesome! When we get together we totally revive each other. They are like a second family. It is always surprising the strength we draw from each other. All three of them are amazing women that inspire and encourage me everytime we talk. I have known two of them since sixth grade and the other was my roomate all through college and then some. We change a little in between the times that we see one another, but when we get together there is always that settling, familiar, and secure feeling. Over time we have all grown in our relationship with God which I am very thankful for. Every year they get more amazing. We have taught each other so much and I can't imagine who I would be if I didn't know them. Over the years we have seen many ups and downs and we have all chosen to love, accept, and help each other along the way. That is what true friendship and love are about to me. They are choices. I appreciate and value them as people and I choose to love and accept them just the way they are. And they do the same with me, which is saying a lot ;o)
God, thank you for the blessing of true friends who encourage me in my walk with you and support me through difficult times. I pray that you will grow our relationships with you and with each other.
Thank you for an amazing family too, that loves me unconditionally and supports all that you are doing in my life.
Amen

black sheep

I have always been the black sheep of the family. I am usually the first one awake in the morning and to sleep at night. Everyone here are night-owls. Its so funny when gets to be around 11:00 because theystart laying the guilt trip on me. "I can't believe you're going to sleep, we never get to see you, its only one more movie etc..". They hit the hay around 2 or 3 usually and it is almost impossible for me to stay coherent that long. I try but usually crash out on the couch. Anyway, I'm p right now making coffee and I'm sure my dad will be the next in line.
Busy day ahead of me. I love it though!
until...

So far

Well, I'm at home and things are going surprisingly well. We were working on redecorating the new house and everything is really coming together. My mom is so creative, shabby sheik, if you will. She painted these old wooden picture frames to look antiqued, its awesome. She has always been really talented. She painted this series of animated fruits that are hanging in the kitcken and they pull the whole room together.
There were definate attempts to pass this on to my little sister and I. When we were in elementary she would buy colored sweatsuits us and then help us paint them in the basement. What a great memory. We also used to make earings. Hmmm, I'm surprised I'm not more creative considering all the oportunities I was given.
There is so much that I want to do while I'm home and I really don't have time for any of it. I can't see even a third of my family. I am definately going to see my grandaddy tomorrow though! He is so precious. I really admire my grandaddy. He is a very spiritual man, has a tremendous heart, and loves to pass on his wisdom, which I welcome. Can't wait! We always try to do computer stuff because he is eager to learn about new technology. In fact, I bet he would love to see this wole blog thing.
Well, I am about to go have "girl time" with my mom and little sis. We are giving ourselves manicures and pedicures while watching an ultra girly movie. This is great since school and work totally force me to neglect myself in these areas.
until...

Home

Leaving to go home for the weekend. I am super excited. Of course, my family the way it is, I'm sure I'll be writing again this evening with plenty to say.
I love road trips and long drives in general. They help me think, especially when its really early or late and nobody is on the road.

less of me

I love mornings. Everything is still and quiet. It is like a different world. I'm able to focus on God early in the morning in a different way than after the day has worn on me. I wish that I remained all day the way I am in these early hours. As I sit in the stillness of my apartment, I am overwhelmed by the steadiness, peace, and strength of God. Everything is quiet, chaste, and yeilding in reverence to Him. I want to be more like the morning.
To stand strong and in reverence of God who loves me and wants to make my paths straight. I want to be consumed by the Holy Spirit so that there is none of me and only the light that comes from the Lord. I am aware of my weaknesses and while God forgives these in me I am concerned about the people that witness them. I am a poor testiment to the might of my Father. I fall short everyday of what I should be and I'm afraid that I will be a stumbling block. I take assurance though in the Lord who works all things for the good. He can take my shortcomings and work them for the good of His kingdom. Grace.

....."Do not fear what they fear; do not be frightened." ~1 Peter 3:13

Since I moved here in August I have had a tough time adjusting. While I knew that I would grow in my relationship with the Lord through this move and the trials that it would bring, I did not expect to lose myself. In the beginning I was unable to think as I used to. Self-doubt envaded my mind and heart. I never doubted the power or plan of God, but I doubted my ability to portray them. There is a lot of pressure ,when you are around non-believers, to represent God's children. The college I attend is very liberal and I was faced, and am still faced with degrading and constant opposition. This of course was magnified in my mind because of the insecurities that were mounting inside me. When this was happenng I welcomed it the best I could because I know that the Lord disciplines those he loves and that these things will only make me stronger. This is a difficult task though and it would be a lie to claim that I did not allow myself to fall into fear and self-pity. How weak am I. Thankfully, the Lord is restoring my strength with the help of a church body that is really on fire for the Lord. I am thankful for Green Tree Community Church, DR, and the children of God who make it such an amazing atmosphere to see the work of our Lord.
Father, help me portray the strength and steadiness that you provide. Keep me from fear and let others see you in me.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6

and again

No gym today either. I have broken routine. I did however spend my time with the Lord this morning. It still amazes me what a difference that time with Him makes. God is awesome! I will hopefully be back on track tomorrow. It is just so dark outside at 5:00 right now. I can't wait for day light savings!
So, this is one of the things the Lord showed me this morning:
"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewlery and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfaiding beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit."
~ 1Peter 3:3
I am thinking of that Bethany Dillon song "Beautiful." The lyrics say something along the lines of " I wanna be beautiful, I wanna be worthy of love. You make me beautiful, you make me stand in awe." This verse and song are very powerful for me today, and most days. Though I don't want to admitt it, I guess it is because I get so caught up on being beautiful in the eyes of the world. The world focuses so heavily on physical beauty. Just take a few psychology courses and you will see that people are natuarally drawn to more attractive people. They get better jobs, more breaks etc... It is a truth of this world that youth and beauty hold a lot of value. This is a real struggle for me. Everyday I wish I were more beautiful or more loved by someone, or anything else along those lines. I, too often, concentrate on things that I think will make me "better." Things like losing weight, working out, wearing the right clothes, make-up, all of them are useless without spiritual beauty. Not to say that they are of no worth, at least the working out can show the self-discipline and steadiness that the Lord can give, but it is good for me to remember that true beauty can only be obtained through a relationship with my Lord. I want to be beautiful before the Lord above all others.
I pray God that you will give me the wisdom and self-discipline that I need to be more beautiful before you. That I will not worry about the ways of this world but that I will humble myself as a servant to others in all that I do. Make me a clean vessel Lord so that your beauty can be seen through me God, and that all my ways will point to you. ~Amen

yet again..

Yet again this morning, I did not work out. This is the second day this week and it has become officially bothersome. I am driving Kevin and Rebeca to the airport this morning and yesterday I was just lazy. I know to most this is not a big deal, but working out, especially early in the morning is "me time." I love to zone out for awhile and then have some good cofffee (trying to substitue green tea lately)and start my day.
More than that though, it bumps my time with God. I ususally do quiet time then hit the gym but when I wake up late or don't workout for whatever reason it breaks the routine. I hate to admitt it, but God gets less of my time and I am therefore not prepared for the day.
Someone told me once, "Never spend more time gettng physically ready then you do getting spiritually ready." Wonderful advice if you want to be a truly beautiful person. Today I will be ugly, or at the very least lagging behind. It is rainy out and I will be in a computer lab all day writing the policy brief I should have started weeks ago. At least I have Prof. Yadama today. He actually makes research fun.....bet he gets up early.

Thought for the day: The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil, is for good men to do nothing.

Until..

debut

Disclaimer: If you are an English buff or bothered by poor grammer and spelling…..my apologies.
Well, I have just discovered blogs. What a great idea! I love it. This is a great way to keep in touch with people without "maintenance" calls. Also, a great way to relieve stress. Since the beginning of undergrad I have attempted to keep some kind of journal as a tool for reflection. It is nice to look back and see how far you have come, what God has brought you through, and where you never want to be again. I mostly use them as a memory tool though. My close friends are laughing as they read this because they know the truth of this statement. I have possibly one of the worst memories of anyone I've ever known. It is random though. I will remember the strangest and smallest things forever but forget who was with me for certain important events. Obviously, this can be insulting, sorry to all who have experienced it. ;o) I am extremely bad with idle conversation. I have been known to have the same conversation with someone twice in a ten-minute span. Crazy right? I know! Ah, but I will chalk it up to the infamous "to know me is to love me" phrase and pretend its the only option. Seriously though, without our idiosyncrasies what makes us "us." They are what we really remember and miss about people. I have never said, "Oh, I really miss the way he/she looked or hung out." It is always the specific and strange things, " I really miss the way he snorted when he laughed or always tried to open doors the wrong way." Anyway, I guess I should stop procrastinating and start doing my homework. It is so strange to be back in school. One thing I learned from a year off was that school is not the most important thing. Where does that leave me? Unfortunately, right here, a big slacker. LOL I keep telling myself that I have to spend time on "life" and not stress about school. Funny how we rationalize our behavior.
Next time...